Friday, June 24, 2016

A New Era

Delirious on Day 4 (of #migraine)

Migraine calendars are absurd. There's an assumption of discrete time measurement; i.e., when it began, when it ended. Also an assumption of discrete causality; i.e., what worked for relief, what was the trigger.

The ordinary parts of my brain don't seem to function well enough to notice and record all of these factors when I'm in migraine mode. That's all too linear.

My brain was never that detail oriented to begin with and now it's quite hopeless for me to maintain that level of analytical documentation. So arbitrary really....when it comes to thoughts, brain waves, behavior of matter and energy....

I have to admit that getting off a paper migraine calendar and onto an app has helped a bit.

It's a day when I must be somewhere at a certain time this morning, unfortunately it will not be to earn money.  The blog will continue. There will be less spellcheck and more truth.

My life flashes before my eyes often, little segments of it. This morning it was Faye's first communion cerca 1987. Silly because none of us are Catholic but during the first grade I had her in the Notre Dames des Victoires elementary school in San Francisco so she did the ceremony with the other children.

In my life review flash of this a.m. I was seeing the event through the eyes of my dad and Faye's paternal grandparents who came to the ceremony and reception. They were about the age I am now. I was 28 with a 6 year old daughter and no husband.

Seeing things now through a different level magnification, the same scene in the past through a different lens. Not a completely different view but with an added layer of subjectivity thus expanding a bit toward the objective.

When I'm an angel what will the viewing mechanism show?

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